. . . that some questions don't require thoughtful deliberation or ponderous consideration. Take for example the question I was asked again today. It was the same question that Jerry, the friendly 60-ish year-old-garbage man asked me last year this time. "Can I have your number?" Simple, right? Not so, I've learned. At least, not so simple for me.
It took me about 33 years to learn that that question actually means something else. But last year I thought it meant this old guy who works at the garbage place just wanted my phone number. And since I was new to these neck of the woods, and I wanted to be a friendly neighbor, I went ahead and gave him my number. I also gave him a couple of loaves of my homemade zucchini bread and several slices of blueberry lemon pound cake. I thought these gifts were necessary because he was doing me a favor by letting me dump my garbage in North Carolina, when I technically live in Tennessee and drive a car with Utah plates. (For those of you not from around here, you should know that there isn't such thing as garbage service. It is purely a geographical issue, I think--since there are so many spread out country roads and dwellings. But all the same, citizens in these parts have to take their trash to central dumping stations).
Now, I know you are thinking this could turn into a creepy stalking story. Gratefully, that is not what happened. In part, because I never answered his calls. And also in part because I stopped taking my garbage to that particular location--in fact, I kind of just stopped dealing with garbage all together (though that is another story). And I guess I should give Jerry some credit here too. As far as I know he didn't go driving around the little country roads searching for a car with the Ski Utah slogan on the back. Though, according to some, he may have legitimately felt I'd given the him the go ahead to seek me out. Jack, my hippie neighbor, let me know that around here, in the not-too-distant-past, if a man drove by a woman's house and she waved at him, it meant she wanted to be courted. So, I'm just sayin', I gave this old timer some zucchini bread and a big smile, and I think I even gave him a hug. What kind of message was I sending?
All the same, every time I've taken my garbage to this place I kind of get a pit in my stomach. But that ended today. He must have forgotten that he already has my number, heck he couldn't even remember my name exactly. So when he asked me for my number, I didn't give it a moment's thought and just said, "No way. That's silly." And then I changed the subject. Magic thing is that he still emptied my stinky garbage can, took the corrugated cardboard to the recycle bins, and said, "Boy you really know how to cheer up someone's day." And he wasn't being sarcastic.
So, here's the little important lesson for me. Kindness doesn't require saying yes to everyone.
And there it is. How's that for a first blog posting? Come to think of it I set this one up perfectly, because you can honestly respond, "Ah, that's garbage." He he he.
